Mile Hi Marriage Ministries

Gratuity for Wedding Officiants - What to Tip at a Wedding and How to Tip Your Wedding Minister

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 16:45:00 +0000

Many brides and grooms, or their parents, are very shy when it comes to making payments to a wedding professional in person, but they are generally more embarrassed when dealing with their wedding clergy in regards to payment, and especially a giving a gratuity. I have been on both ends of the wedding altar and I can tell you that it's much easier to deal with than you think and there is a smart way.

Everyone is a bit unsure of what is proper mostly because wedding ministers as a whole have historically dealt with rituals and properness in situations and most folks do not want to cross the line. But remember that wedding professionals deal with this issue on a daily basis and so they understand your uncomfortableness and they have seen it quite a bit. To them, it is part of the work day.

Do I tip? Definitely, yes. How much? It depends, but it is not unusual to double a fee. How? There is a good time to pay the gratuity when you pay the balance of your officiant fee. Why? Because t.i.p. stands for to insure proper service. Your marriage officiant is still holding your marriage license when you part ways (they are required usually to file it themselves). Where? At the signing.

How do you pay and tip with class? It is not so difficult after all. Tipping anyone should be done with joy and gratitude. Consider the following wedding information.

Most officiants charge from $275 to $900 for a wedding ceremony. It all depends on your wedding ceremony location, what things you feel you need from your wedding minister and how busy they are. The busier the wedding minister, the more expensive they will generally be.

Most wedding vendors will ask for a deposit in advance and the remainder to be paid on the day of the wedding. Do remember to make a prompt deposit as wedding professionals do get calls and emails constantly. A typical wedding professional gets anywhere from 10 to 100 requests a day. That is a lot time requests to be juggling. Frankly, the first person to commit by putting down a deposit is the one who wins that time slot.

We recommend that you send the officiant you have chosen the deposit by check or by credit card immediately so that you do have a hold on their time and also so that there is a paper trail. However, in my experience, the balance should be paid by cash.

When you pay the balance it is usually more embarrassing for people since it is in person and there is no "right moment". But there is.

The best thing to do is to bring an envelope with each wedding vendor name on it and put the remainder in cash in the envelope. If you are in a large wedding, hand these to your best man or the father of the bride (which makes him feel more important) and tell them to distribute the money for you.

Do make sure to pay by the balance you owe your wedding minister in cash or your license may not be filed in time for the check to clear. Even worse, if you are traveling after your wedding and your check bounces, you may find that you are not married by the time you return from your honeymoon. A wedding officiant is required to file your marriage license within a certain amount of time with the county, usually 10 days. If they are paid by check and it bounces while you are in Tahiti then you may have a bit of a problem as that wedding clergy does not know if you will be paying on your bad check.

The best time to pay is at the signing of the marriage license. There is always a shuffling of papers from each person and when the wedding officiant signs it you can easily hand the envelope over with a "Thank you!"

And do not forget the minister gratuity. You can include that in the envelope as well. What is the proper tip for an officiant? $75 - $150 is the proper officiant gratuity and if that seems to be too much to you, consider this: your wedding officiant is probably the least paid of most of the wedding professionals present at your wedding and yet you need that one person at your wedding ceremony more than anyone else there, or else. . . you would not be married. Yes, you do not need to tip a wedding official but think of it this way: it's good karma and a good way to start your marriage with a positive vibe from the one person who joined you as husband and wife.

Maxwell Elliott is the owner and operator of http://www.USOfficiants.com Wedding Officiant Directory, and has been in the wedding business for many years.

Wedding Bloopers - How to Keep Them From Happening to You

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:50:00 +0000

You want the wedding of your dreams not of your nightmares, right? You don't want something from your wedding winding up as a wedding blooper on YouTube! Here are 5 pitfalls to avoid to keep that from happening.

Pitfall #1: INSISTING ON A PERFECT WEDDING

There's no such thing as a perfect wedding. . . and if there were, would you really want it? Perfection is probably not your goal. No doubt this is a red-letter day in your life. You want it to be special. You want your family & friends to celebrate with you & have a good time.

However, little unexpected things happen. When you keep things in perspective, these don't have to ruin your day. Of course, you don't want major disruptions or distractions because of poor planning & preparation. That's why you want to avoid pitfalls #'s 2-5.

Do this: On your wedding day, give yourself a good talking to & remind yourself what your wedding day is really all about.

Pitfall #2: POOR WEDDING REHEARSAL EXECUTION

If your wedding rehearsal is an exercise in frustration, you don't have much time to get over it! Likely your wedding is the next day.

Do this: You can reduce the chances of problems at the wedding rehearsal in a couple of ways:

One, have a professional director if possible. At the least, you need a friend or family member with strong enough personality (without taking over your wedding wishes) to get people moving & to be there for the wedding to remind everyone what to do/when.

Two, know before going to your rehearsal exactly how you want your wedding to go. Rehearsals are not a time for working this out, but for practicing what you've already decided. This doesn't mean that you won't see something at your rehearsal that you want to change. But, if you go in with no plan, well-meaning friends & family may take over your wedding.

Pitfall #3:NO BACK-UP PLAN IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN IN YOUR WEDDING:

Children are precious in weddings & if you want them in yours, then certainly include them. However, for the sake of the children, have a back-up plan. Even children who are outgoing have trouble sometimes when they see "all those people." You don't want the children to be embarrassed, frightened, and upset.

Do this: Increasing, couples have children (ring bearers, flower girls) come down the aisle and then immediately go sit with family on the front rows.

This way, they feel included in the wedding & "get seen" but then are relieved from the pressure of the spotlight.

What if children are hesitant to come down the aisle by themselves? A possibility is to have them walk down with one of the attendants. What if a child won't stand still & becomes a distraction? Have a family member who will come get the child & take them to a seat.

Children's little mess-ups are cute, but quickly become a distraction to your ceremony.

Pitfall #4:USING RECORDED WEDDING MUSIC

This may be the most frequent goof-up I see at weddings. Invariably, the person doing the music can't find the on/off button, plays the wrong song at the wrong time, or abruptly ends the bride's processional music with a loud click of the off switch.

Do this: Have live wedding music if possible. It sounds better & you don't have the problems mentioned above.

Recorded wedding songs can work nicely, but if you rehearse anything, make sure you rehearse the music; what songs when, how long they run, and when to fade them out.

Pitfall #5: AN INEXPERIENCED WEDDING CEREMONY OFFICIANT

Perhaps I'm biased here, but I have seen & have heard many horror stories about ministers & other officiants who do a poor job. Calling the couple by the wrong names, leaving out the bridal kiss, speaking too low or too long, are just some of the problems. Weddings are not the easiest things to do. Experience can make a difference.

Do this: Use an experienced wedding minister or officiant. An experienced wedding officiant will know what do when unexpected things happen. Did the best man lose the ring; what to do now?

Perhaps there is someone very special to you as a couple that you want to perform your ceremony even though they don't have much wedding experience. In this case, spend a lot of time with them going over exactly what you want in the ceremony. Make sure any inexperienced officiant is at the rehearsal & go through the ceremony a couple of times.

Avoid these 5 pitfalls in planning your wedding and you will decrease your odds of wedding bloopers ruining your wedding and your memories.

Ralph Griggs is a life-long non-denominational minister in Nashville, Tennessee. He helps many couples with their wedding ceremonies and created the Free Multi-Media Online Marriage Preparation Course to help couples get a great start on their marriage. He also provides free information on how to write your own sensational wedding ceremony vows.

Wedding Minister Questionnaire

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 16:45:00 +0000

Finding someone to officiate your wedding ceremony can sometimes feeling like a daunting task. It's important to find someone that is a good fit for you, as a couple. Even the most well prepared bride can be a little intimidated about interviewing a minister. Hopefully this list will help by giving the bride a good start on what to ask of potential ministers.

1. Is the officiant available on the day you've chosen, at the time you'd prefer? This is important especially when narrowing down prospective officiant

2. Can the officiant travel to the site? If you are having a wedding at a location other than the minister's church, this is very important. Some ministers may have location restrictions so make sure to ask about your location.

3. What are the fees and what is included? You should find out pricing for services and travel and what each includes. Some churches charge things like cleanup, separately.

4. What type of premarital counseling is required, if any? Different ministers require different counseling, if any so ask. Also make sure you ask about pricing.

5. What restrictions do they have? Due to certain religious and personal preferences, certain aspects may have certain restrictions. For example, the officiant may not allow certain music or certain songs.

6. How much of the ceremony are you allowed to write yourself? Some ministers will only use one ceremony with minor changes. Others will let you write the whole thing with them so long as they are allowed to review and make any changes with you before the wedding day. Most will give a sample ceremony that you can make changes to.

7. How long do they anticipate the ceremony to last? This is good for booking the reception vendors and setting a time line.

8. Where can you reach them to answer questions or give advice? Get all their contact information and hours of business.

9. Do they have any suggestions? When weddings are your business, you're bound to pick up hints and tricks. Ask and see if they have any suggestions.

If you are getting married in the minister's church...

1. Can you view the ceremony site? Go through the site and take notes about the layout. Also ask about occupancy restrictions as well.

2. From what times do you have access to the site? This is important if you want to decorate or you need to clean up so you can schedule accordingly. Make sure to get the times and dates in the contract.

3. Is there a place you can get ready before the ceremony? It's always nice to set aside a brides room so the bride and bridesmaids can prepare for the ceremony and have a place to relax.

4. Is there a room parents can take their children during the ceremony? Having a room parents can use for restless kids is a good idea to keep everybody happy.

5. Are there any restrictions for photographers or videographers? Some sites do not allow photographers or videographers at all, some do not allow flash photography and some restrict photographers and videographers to the back of the church during the ceremony.

6. Are there any special site restrictions? Some sites do not allow birdseed, rice or rose petals to be thrown. Make sure you know all their restrictions.

7. When does the rehearsal take place? Any ceremony can look good on paper but in real life it's nice to have a practice session to make sure every one's on the same page and the logistics flow smoothly.

Hopefully, with this information at hand, you'll find the minister that fits you, as a couple, perfectly.

If you are getting married soon, please check out [http://www.geocities.com/galawedding] for all your ministry needs!

Who is Your Wedding Minister? Why Does it Matter?

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 16:45:00 +0000

How much difference can one person make in your nuptial celebration?

Does it really matter?

What do you look for in your wedding minister?

How do you find the right one for you?

Like any other professional, they are not all equal.

There are clunkers, normal, and super stars. Ministers have personal characteristics that may be attractive or objectionable. Consider your candidates. Look for qualities of professionalism, public speaking skills, sensitivity, listening, flexibility, and their priorities.

Many couples do not really care who officiates their ceremony for them. They accept the first one available. One might ask, does it really make a difference who officiates?

Is your officiate legally authorized to perform legal weddings? Double check. Make sure they are authorized by your state and ordained or authorized by an appropriate religious or social agency.

Those who officiate represent not only civil authorities, but their own particular religious traditions.

You will want to be sure that they fit your own views of marriage and family.

You may not agree with your leader on every detail of life, but it is important that his expressions concerning your sacred event reflect your own values.

What religious background have you shared, or do you prefer? Look for someone from that tradition. If you prefer Baptist, look for a Baptist minister. If you connect with Methodist, Presbyterian, or other tradition; look for an appropriate guide to communicate your shared faith, hopes, and dreams.

Do you want a minister who comes with his own orthodox ceremony? This can really simplify things for the bride and groom, but limits the amount of creativity and personalization.

Or, you may want a minister who is highly flexible and willing to work with you. You may want a minister who encourages your creativity so your ceremony can be truly personal.

Your whole event depends on your leader. His words express the theme and content of the ceremony, but he does much more. He manages the flow of the ceremony, guides the participants, and facilitates every aspect of the ceremony.

It is extremely helpful and valuable for him to provide personal guidance and encouragement to the wedding couple as he communicates the values, priorities, and commitments of marriage. Your preparation and ceremony should be an educational experience to assist the couple in launching their marriage.

An elegant formal event will require your leader to facilitate stylish ceremony elements, wording, and movements. An informal wedding will require the calm guide to foster a relaxed atmosphere in which participants can be themselves and enjoy the ceremony.

Ultimately, you are in charge. You choose the one that will help you achieve your dream wedding. He manages the legalities, the traditions, and the coordination; but he does so in cooperation with you.

Together you can achieve the kind of celebration you really want with as much personalization as you wish.

Today download your own customized Christian Wedding Vow and free resource guide. Explore Dr. David Trumble's Wedding Planning Books. Explore all the wedding samples, tips, and resources available there.

Here Comes The Bride - Music for Wedding Ceremonies

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 16:40:00 +0000

The formalities and legalities of a wedding can be regarded as the "bone structure" of the ceremony. Without those legalities, without the correct words, documentation, certificates and authorities, the ceremony cannot be a legal one.

But the bare bones of such a ceremony can be - and ought to be - beautifully "dressed" with things that add to the meaningfulness and fascination of the ceremony. The very word "ceremony" reminds us that a wedding is one of the important occasions of one's life, that it is something deserving all the pageantry and ritual that the couple may wish to include. This sense of something more than simply an official procedure can be expressed more informally, too - in which case the "ritual" is quite relaxed and with simplicity and charm.

Whether the marriage ceremony is formal or informal, whether it is traditional or modern, there is no doubt that beautifully chosen music adds to the atmosphere and character of the ceremony - and a first-class celebrant can help the couple to choose the music that best fits their occasion.

How Much Music Should We Have?

A marriage ceremony is not restricted to use only a set number of musical pieces. In fact, some weddings - usually elaborate ones - can include a quite astonishing amount of music. Some - very simple ones - might opt to include virtually no music. But my recommendation as an Authorised Marriage Celebrant is that the couple include a minimum of one piece, to be performed or played during the Signing of the Register.

Many wedding ceremonies also have music played as the bride walks down the aisle; this is called the Bride's Processional. Equally many wedding ceremonies include music to be played as the bride and groom walk out together once the final words of the ceremony have been spoken; this is known as the Recessional.

These are not the only places in the ceremony where music may be played or performed. Before the ceremony begins, there may be music quietly played to set the mood or keep the guests entertained; hymns may be part of a religious marriage ceremony; more music may be included before the vows or after the vows; and so on. There really are no bars to having as much music as one wants, or as little music as one wants.

The most frequently used musical layout in a wedding ceremony is thus as follows:

Processional musicSigning of the Register musicRecessional musicWhat Traditional Music Is Played At Weddings?

Both the Processional and the Recessional tend to be Wedding Marches - that is, pieces which have a graceful beat and ceremonial quality that adds to the atmosphere of a traditional wedding. A wide variety of pieces fall into this category; for example, the Wedding March from Wagner's Lohengrin, pieces from Handel's Water Music, the Pachelbel Canon in D, the Wedding March from Mendelssohn's Midsummer Night's Dream, virtually all Trumpet Voluntaries, to name but a few.

During the Signing of the Register, music by Mozart, Handel, Bach, Beethoven, Purcell, Monteverdi and many more can be used. The duration of this music should be at least 5 minutes.

Can Non-Classical Music Be Used In Weddings?

Couples may choose to include music from other cultures - Indian music, music from China or Japan, pop music from Italy or Volksmusik from Germany, for example. So much music can add quite a fascinating quality to the ceremony, and the sense of ceremony will not be diminished if the music is chosen for its meaningfulness to the couple.

Equally, the use of music not usually associated with weddings - rock and roll, country music, medieval music, any sort of music - can be used if the couple wishes. A first-class celebrant will be happy to explore whatever genre of music will be appropriate for the bridal couple, and can offer a multitude of suggestions.

Live Music Or Recorded Music?

Of course, the easiest (and least costly) method of including music in the ceremony is with the use of CDs. The Authorised Marriage Celebrant is able to use specially compiled CDs of music for the ceremony without breaching copyright, and of course will provide the audio equipment to enable the music CD to be heard by all the guests.

It is the celebrant's responsibility to organise the CD in the case of recorded music being used in the ceremony.

If the couple wishes to have musicians performing live and/or a singer performing live during the ceremony, it can add a very special quality to the wedding. The music choices would usually be decided upon by the couple with the help and advice of the Authorised Marriage Celebrant, and the celebrant may liaise with the performers on behalf of the couple. Alternatively, the couple may wish to speak directly with the performers.

The responsibility of hiring performers is the couple's. A first-class marriage celebrant will frequently have some excellent contacts with wonderful musicians who can do justice to the ceremony's musical requirements, and may be able to offer recommendations or suggestions to help the couple make their decision.

Is Music Necessary For The Wedding Rehearsal?

Because a wedding rehearsal is designed to sort out any potential problems beforehand, usually with a complete run-through, it is highly recommended for the music to be part of the ceremony. If a CD is being used, the celebrant will arrive for the rehearsal with the CD and the PA system, to make sure about volume, placement of the speaker, time length of the pieces, and so on.

If live music is to be played during the ceremony, it's strongly recommended that the musicians and singers be present at the rehearsal. They will need to know where they are placed for the ceremony, whether they are playing or singing loudly enough, at what points exactly they will be performing, and so on. To ensure that the ceremony runs as smoothly as possible, it is definitely worth having a complete run-through. The musicians and singers may charge an additional fee for this rehearsal, or it may be included in their fee; this is the responsibility of the couple.

Why Have Music?

The poet Longfellow said of music that it "is the universal language of mankind". Robert Browning described music as something that banishes aloneness: "He who hears music, feels his solitude peopled at once." Victor Hugo, the author of Les Misérables, said, "Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent." Tolstoy described it as "the shorthand of emotion". Anaïs Nin wrote that "Music melts all the separate parts of our bodies together". And Beethoven - well, for him it was an incredible intoxication that gave meaning to life: "Music is the wine which inspires one to new generative processes, and I am Bacchus who presses out this glorious wine for mankind and makes them spiritually drunken."

Because of this sense of marriage between great truth and music, and our emotions and music, music plays an incontrovertible part in the lives of virtually every human being. It is especially important during ceremonies that define us; it heightens our emotions gives meaning to the moment.

A wedding ceremony is unquestionably made more momentous and lovely if music plays upon the strings of silence, enhancing the words that make each marriage real and unique. A first-class marriage celebrant will be aware not only of the music pieces that can be perfectly added to your ceremony, but also of the greatest performances of those music pieces, so that you will be left with a sense of something almost beyond feeling - where the vows of your marriage are clarified and distilled to the very essence of meaning, to be remembered for the rest of your lives together.

Ingrid Heyn is a Registered Marriage Celebrant duly authorised by the Attorney-General's Department to solemnise marriages in Australia.

She is also a trained classical singer, speaks 8 languages, and studied her B.Sc. and B.Mus. at Melbourne University.

Her website is http://www.celebrantaustralia.com.au

10 Things to Know About the Wedding Ceremony

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:35:00 +0000

Most people planning a wedding ceremony are doing it for the first time with a basic understanding of what needs to be done. Of course, you want the ceremony to be perfect and with all the other things you have to think about it can all be quite stressful. But, if you get organized and keep on track, your wedding ceremony can come off without a hitch.

Here are 10 things to consider about when planning your wedding ceremony:

1. Know your Numbers - Along with your fiancé discuss the size of wedding you'd like then make a list of who you're inviting. If you are over your number, start making adjustments. Remember, everyone that you invite to the wedding ceremony, you will need to invite to the wedding reception.

2. Know your wedding party - Decide who you want in your wedding party and how many are going to be in it. Again, you and your fiancé are going to have to make a list of who is important to you, both male and female, and work out your wedding party. Remember your wedding party will be an important part of your wedding ceremony so it is important to choose those that are important to you and those who will support you.

3. Know your Location - Are you going to have a church or non-church wedding ceremony? If you choose a church ceremony, you're going to have to find a church that works for both you and your fiancé. Choosing a church wedding will mean things are going to be a bit more formal and you may need to start thinking about people to participate in readings etc. Choosing a non- church wedding opens up many places to have your own unique and special ceremony, remember many places book up early for wedding ceremonies so make sure you book early. If you're thinking about getting married in the outdoors, always make sure wedding ceremonies are permitted and you have a back up plan in case it rains.

4. Know your Flowers - You are going to need flowers for the wedding ceremony, choosing local in season flowers are always a good deal. You'll need flowers to decorate pews, and the altar, and don't forget flowers for your wedding party. Bride's maid bouquets, used at the wedding ceremony, often double as the centre pieces for the head table. (It's quick and easy transition and gives the brides maid somewhere to put their bouquet during the reception.) Not just the bride, bride's maids and flower girls, get flowers. The groom his groomsmen, fathers of the groom and bride along with any other special males attending the wedding ceremony, will need a boutonnière. The mother's of both the bride and groom along with any other special females, attending the wedding ceremony will also need corsages.

5. Know your Music - Discuss what type of music you want for your ceremony you'll need music for: when guests are arriving, the procession, and if you choose to, during the ceremony. You may even choose to have music playing as guests leave the wedding ceremony. If you're looking for something classy and low key you can often hire high school or university students to play your choice of musical instruments or sing. Remember this music is separate from your reception and will add a nice personalized touch to your wedding ceremony.

6. Know your post wedding ceremony line up: You will need to arrange a receiving line as people are leaving. Make sure you choose an area with plenty of room which has an easy flow from the ceremony area to the exit. Make sure your wedding party and others involved in the line know their place well ahead of time, and don't be shy about having someone announce how the receiving line will be set up.

7. Know your Photographer / Photographs: You will want to document the whole day as the bride gets ready, the ceremony, the reception and of course the bridal party pictures. You may actually want to consider also getting a videographer to preserve your ceremony forever. Important things to keep in mind about photos during your ceremony; ensure your photographer(s) and videographer will be dressed appropriately for the occasion. Although almost all photographers know this, it never hurts to ask them and make sure they look appropriate. Make sure the photographer is aware of where they can and cannot be during the ceremony. If you prefer a certain angle or want plenty of pictures taken during a specific part of the wedding, make sure your photographer is aware. Remember there are no re-takes so make sure you choose someone you're comfortable with and can communicate with.

8. Know the Logistics - Normally, the groom will get to the church or ceremony site with family or groomsmen and the bride will get there in the limo. You can work out whatever you want. Just be sure that everyone has a way to get there and to the reception. Ensure that any out of town guests have been given maps or instructions on how to reach the wedding ceremony. If it's in your budget you may even want to arrange transportation for these guests. Whatever you choose to do, make sure everyone involved in your wedding ceremony knows the details ahead of time.

9. Know where the Rings are - Rings are often left with the best man, but any trust worthy member of the wedding party can be given this responsibility. It is best to give the rings to the person the night before, or first thing when you see them the day of the wedding. It seems like such an easy thing to remember, but if the duties are left to a nervous groom or bride chances are they'll forget. It's shocking how often wedding ceremonies are stopped because someone is running back to the house or hotel room to get the rings.

10. Know how to let go - Weddings can be an extremely stressful time and although we can spent countless hours, days, weeks and months planning the perfect wedding ceremony. Not everything will go the way you've planned it. Remember that you're probably the only one who knows it hasn't gone according to plan. We can't control everything so take a few deep slow breaths and enjoy your special day.

For more info on wedding ceremonies, please check out http://www.sangaminc.com/wedding.html

Your Non-Religious Wedding Ceremony: Create And Design Your Personalized Ceremony In 5 Easy Steps

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:35:00 +0000

You are getting married! And for the two of you, a big part of your wedding day is your non-religious wedding ceremony. Creating, crafting and participating in a non-religious ceremony offers you many creative options and opportunities. As you are working outside of a religious institution, you have enhanced creative license to enjoy a ceremony that is uniquely yours in all ways.

As you begin to think about what you want for your non-religious wedding ceremony, here are 5 steps to help you design and craft a non-religious ceremony that will create a memorable lifetime moment.

1) Sit down with your partner and discuss what you want and don't want for your ceremony. This may sound simplistic and it's true: a non-religious ceremony gives you lots of options and choices with regard to what you can or cannot do within your wedding ceremony. Because you are outside of the confines of an established religious organization, you can get very creative as you storyboard and design your ceremony. Of course, there are the standard legal pieces that need to be executed by an Officiant but outside of this, you have much latitude in the design of your ceremony.

Ask yourselves: What is our ceremony style: perhaps traditional, non-traditional, contemporary, artistic, humanist or shamanic? What elements to a ceremony are important to us? How do we want to do our wedding vows? Are we exchanging rings? Will our guests participate? What cultural rituals or traditions are important to us that must be incorporated? How do we want our non-religious ceremony to feel?

2) Select your Officiant - Friend or Professional: Some non-traditional couples elect to have a friend or family member work with them to design and deliver their ceremony. Others often hire a professional Officiant for the task. No matter whom you select to officiate your ceremony, insure that they are excited by the vision you hold for your ceremony and want to fully participate. Each professional Officiant operates differently so ask your questions to insure you have someone on board who understands where you are going with your ceremony.

3) Site Selection: Once you have figured out the style of your ceremony and who will be officiating it, you need a venue or location for your ceremony. Depending on where you live and the season of year, you may have lots of options: a hotel or venue, a private home or estate, a park or waterside at the beach, in a hot air balloon or at the top of a mountain - you name it! Oftentimes, for a non-religious ceremony, couples select a site that is meaningful to them and incorporates this meaning into their ceremony.

4) Writing and Crafting Your Ceremony: If you are having a friend officiate your non-religious ceremony, you'll want to sit down together and outline and write your ceremony. If a professional Officiant is delivering your ritual, he or she will take responsibility for getting all detail from you and writing your ceremony. Each professional Only go to "final draft" on your ceremony when you are completely satisfied that your ceremony works in all ways for you.

5) Rehearse and Enjoy Your Wedding Day! Depending on the size of your ceremony, you most probably will want to have a rehearsal. If a friend is officiating your ceremony, see if he or she can lead the rehearsal. If not, find another friend or family member with event experience who can take on this ask. Most professional Officiants lead a rehearsal as part of their package or as an add-on. A rehearsal is important for your non-religious ceremony because most likely it will have non-traditional creative elements that need a walk-through.

Annemarie Juhlian is a Wedding Officiant,Minister & Celebrant in Seattle, Washington. She creates personalized wedding ceremonies for couples of all faiths and traditions including non-religious ceremonies Take a peek at Annemarie: http://www.wedbyannemarie.com or call 425. 922.1325

Your Picture Perfect Wedding Ceremony - 5 Planning Tips For an Authentic and Beautiful Life Moment

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:35:00 +0000

As you ponder what you want and desire for your wedding ceremony, you have a lot to think about.

Do you want a wedding ceremony that is traditional, contemporary or on the edge? Do you envision a small and intimate gathering or a big and fancy formal affair? How do you want your wedding ceremony to feel?

Here are 5 tips to help you create an authentic and beautiful wedding ceremony, whether your guest list is 2 or 200!

5 Tips For Planning and Creating an Authentic and Beautiful Wedding Ceremony

1) Get Really Clear About What You Want: This sounds actually easier than it is. A wedding ceremony brings up a lot of emotion and "stuff" for people. As you think about what you want and desire for your wedding ceremony, you need to get really clear about what you want to accomplish with your wedding ritual and how you want to do this.

If a small and intimate ceremony feels comfortable to you, do it. If you want a splashy formal affair with lots of people around you, do it. You see, there is no right or wrong with when it comes to what you want for your wedding ceremony. You just need to get clear on what is right for the two of you: date and time, size of guest list, venue location, type of ceremony, person officiating your ceremony, etc.

2) Your Venue/Location Sets The Tone: Selecting a venue/location for your ceremony is key to setting the tone for your wedding day. If you are being married outside of a formal religious institution, you have a lot of latitude in terms of where to "do" your ceremony. As you ponder a location for your ceremony, consider the time of year and what appeals to you: at a popular park, in a chapel, on the side of a mountain, on the waterfront or high bluff over looking water or perhaps the comfortable appeal of a friend's home, etc.

3) Person To Marry You - Who? You can't get married without an Officiant! If you are being in a church or synagogue, a person usually comes along with the venue to perform your wedding ceremony. If you are being married elsewhere, you've got to find someone to get you hitched.

And you've got choices. Do you want to hire a professional Officiant or Minister to create and deliver your wedding ceremony? What about having a family member or friend work with the two of you to officiate your ceremony? Again, there is no right or wrong way to do this - it's what you want and don't want for your "get married" moment.

Tip: If you are going to select an Officiant/Minister, do this sooner than later as many schedules fill up quickly, especially for the popular Summer months. In other words, don't wait until the last minute.

4) Involving Your Family and Friends - Wisely. As you look at your wedding ceremony, you will have to figure out who is going to be involved - or better yet, who do you want involved? Many ceremonies today involve family and friends in many varied ways from lighting candles to walking a beloved dog down the aisle to a group reading or perhaps a special surprise within a ceremony. There is no better way to honor your "tribe" than by finding authentic and fun parts for your people to play within your ceremony.

Tip: A fun idea is to involve your wedding party in your ceremony. Work with the person officiating your ceremony to come up with a lively and creative option for using the talents of the people standing up with you - this creates much fun and joy for your wedding ceremony.

5) Have Fun With Your Wedding Ceremony! So many wedding ceremonies are serious and somber business. A contemporary, elegant, joyful and "fun" ceremony sets the tone for a beautiful lifetime moment. So, remember to incorporate a little elegant humor and fun into your ceremony!

For more information on creating a beautiful wedding ceremony, go to http://www.wedbyannemarie.com ~ Annemarie Juhlian is a Non-Denominational Wedding Officiant & Minister serving the Seattle/Tacoma, Washington areas. She has been to hundreds of wedding ceremonies of all shapes and sizes and offers "10 Top Tips For Your Wedding Vows" on the home page of her website for download.

Sand Ceremonies - The Story Behind the Sand Unity Ceremony and Tips For Holding One of Your Own

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 16:30:00 +0000

If you've been to any beach weddings in the past few years or you remember the three-part saga of Trista and Ryan's wedding on the 2003 season of The Bachelorette, then chances are you're familiar with the sand ceremony, one of the most up-and-coming trends in modern weddings. Although the age and origin of wedding sand ceremonies is shrouded in history and debate, there's no doubting the abundant symbolism and growing popularity of the practice -- don't expect to see it disappear any time soon. Read on to learn the story behind the sand unity ceremony and to find tips for how to make this tradition a unique part of your wedding day.

The Process of the Sand Ceremony

The sand ceremony, in its simplest form, features two glass containers that are each filled with a different color of sand and placed on either side of a larger glass container. The container can be empty or filled with a base layer of neutral-colored sand - some versions also include an additional small container of colored sand used by the priest or officiant.

The bride and groom then take alternating turns, usually accompanied by a short reading or statement from the officiant, pouring layers of sand into the center container until it is filled. The officiant next caps the container with a cork, wax, or airtight lid. The sealed vase then becomes a colorful keepsake that serves as a powerful reminder of the couple's wedding day.

Sand Ceremony Symbolism

What's nice about sand ceremonies is their elegant symbolism is immediately identifiable. The different colors, of course, represent the individual lives of the bride and groom. Although combined into a single container, the layers of color show that both the bride and groom have retained their unique identities and personalities. Yet, looking closer, it is virtually impossible to define the exact point where one layer ends and the next begins - the grains of sand can never be separated. This is a strong and beautiful representation of the "two becoming one" concept that has resonated with couples all over the world.

Create Your Own Look and Style for Your Sand Ceremony

There are, however, no formal rituals or steps to follow for holding a sand unity ceremony of your own. Though they are performed at weddings in many faiths, wedding sand ceremonies are not a traditional part of any major religion. This fact accounts for the large number of variations of the practice - so many, in fact, that sand ceremonies are often unique to each wedding.

The colors of the sand, for example, are left up to the bride and groom (though sometimes neutral colored sand representing God is also used) and can have deeply personal significance or simply look pretty. There is also no standard size or shape for the containers - couples are free to use whatever works best for them.

In the same way there are also no rules about when during the wedding the sand ceremony should be held. The most common time is immediately after the bride and groom speak their vows, but many couples choose to perform the ceremony as an introduction to them. Other couples have even begun to make the ceremony a part of the vows themselves, pouring additional sand after each pledge.

Sand Ceremonies and Blended Family Weddings

One variation of the sand ceremony in particular has become popular among couples with children. During these blended family weddings the children of the bride and groom are invited to the altar; each child adds his or her own layer of colored sand to the container, turning the vase into a symbol of two families coming together as one. Some couples also choose to involve other close family members such as their parents and grandparents for the same reason. The fact that there's nearly no limit to the number of colors that can be used makes wedding sand ceremonies a unique and easy way for couples to broaden their celebration to be about more than just them.

Sand Ceremonies as an Alternative to Unity Candles

Another variation of the sand ceremony, meanwhile, actually excludes the bride and groom. In this version the sand ceremony is used as a replacement for the better known unity candle ceremony, which in some denominations is performed by the mothers of the wedding couple. The process here is essentially the same, though in place of each mother using a taper candle to light a central pillar candle, they pour layers of sand instead.

Regardless of who pours the sand, sand ceremonies are an increasingly popular alternative to unity candles, particularly at beach and outdoor weddings where wind can be a significant factor. The keepsake quality of the sand-filled vase and its durability relative to candles is also appealing, as candles can be more difficult to display at home and may melt or deform over time.

Possible Origins of the Sand Ceremony

Just as the process of holding a sand ceremony has been left up to interpretation, there is no accepted historical origin of the practice - some have claimed it is primarily a 20th century phenomenon while others argue the practice dates back hundreds if not thousands of years. Sand ceremonies do seem to have first gained popularity among both native Hawaiians as well continental Native American communities, but it is unclear if these groups developed the practice independently from each other or which group did so first.

There are compelling cases for both sides. Hawaiian weddings often take place on the beach, for obvious reasons, and many traditional Hawaiian weddings have long involved the bride and groom scooping sand from around their feet with seashells and pouring it into a shared container. Native American sandpainting, meanwhile, is a well-documented and ancient practice that involves artfully mixing layers of colored sand. Although traditional sandpainting is associated with healing and not weddings, the longstanding use of sand in Native American culture, and its continuing use today, suggests that wedding sand ceremonies may be older than we realize.

A Meaning that Is Universal Across Cultures and Time

Although the exact origins of the sand ceremony will likely never be known, in many ways its blurred history demonstrates just how universal its symbolism is to the nature love and the human spirit. The idea of contrasting colors of sand that are each distinct yet permanently mixed together can be found in other cultures all over the world, from the ancient mandalas of Tibet, to the parlors of Victorian England, to the sand tray art of Imperial Japan, to the ceremonial sand imprints of aboriginal Australia.

The bright colors and simple-yet-majestic meaning behind the sand ceremony makes it far more than a beach wedding trend or a gimmick from a reality TV show. Indeed, regardless of how old the current practice might be, its roots can be traced back to the oldest days of human civilization. So no matter what type of sand ceremony you hold, rest assured its significance will endure for as long as there is love.

About the Author:

Brian Cross is a freelance writer and researcher who has been active since 2007. He currently contributes articles, tips, and insights related to wedding planning to BridesVillage.com, an independent retailer of wedding accessories.

Wedding Minister Etiquette

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 16:45:00 +0000

Etiquette has always been sort of a touchy subject, especially when it comes to weddings.

Weddings are usually filled with traditions and customs and the ceremony is no exception. So it's no wonder that people are nervous about what do to with the wedding minister. Since ministers deal with a world filled with religious customs and traditions, many couples are afraid to directly ask sticky questions and yet they don't want to commit some etiquette faux pas. This is where I come in. As an insider, I'm here to help couples navigate the world of wedding minister etiquette.

Etiquette Question #1: Do we invite the minister to our rehearsal dinner? Generally, an invitation to the rehearsal dinner is not necessary even though it is a thoughtful gesture. The exception to this would be if you've known the minister for a long time or if the rehearsal dinner is being held on church property, but even then it's more of a friendly gesture and not a hard etiquette rule.

Etiquette Question #2: Do I invite the minister to our reception? This one is a little tricky. How do you tell the most important person at your ceremony that they aren't welcome to stay for dinner?

Traditionally, it's proper to invite the minister to the reception, especially if that person has a special connection in your life. Generally speaking, most ministers don't expect to be invited to the reception unless they have known the couple for a long time and many will only stay for cocktails and/or h'or deourves.

Etiquette Question #3: Where do we seat the minister? It's generally not required that the minister sit at the head table. Having them seated with your family, either parents, such as parents or grandparents, is a good idea especially if they are affiliated with their church.

Etiquette Question #4: Do we tip the minister? It's easy to see why this is a questions couples hate to ask. You sign a contract and pay deposits and fees just like any other vendor, but somehow it always seems strange tipping a minister like you would any other vendor. Tipping is never mandatory, it's to reward exceptional service. The minister's fee is all you're required to pay and that's all they expect from you. If you feel they have done a wonderful service, feel free to add money to an envelope to deliver to them after the ceremony is finished. Again, tipping is not required or expected for the minister.

I hope that this clears up some confusion and helps every couple navigate the wedding minister etiquette world a little better. When in doubt, however, don't be afraid to ask your minister what they are comfortable with. Don't forget that they deal with weddings all the time and although you may feel strange asking, they are comfortable answering.

Erica Adkins is a Galveston wedding minister Her website contains valuable articles and advice to help any couple plan their wedding, including a wedding ceremony generator! Just select a ceremony, fill in the information and your wedding ceremony pops up for you.